Rage Against The Machine!

"This is the truth, this is the truth, this is the truth...Come and get me, come and get me Neighborhood Association for telling the truth" - Jennifer Haley, N3

Oh friends, for the last few weeks I've been trying to publish my blog, but I've been blocked. A few weeks ago our major papers published their picks for top shows of the year and Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom didn't quite make the cut. And I was angry. Not just angry, I was absolutely stunned, offended, flabbergasted, floored, disarmed, saddened, pissed off, heart broken, deflated, embarrassed, enraged, disappointed, hurt, and livid. Surprised? You shouldn't be. If you know me you know I rarely hold back my feelings.

So I wrote. I thought if I tried to publicly express myself something would change. I wrote and wrote and wrote and usually when I write I feel better afterwords, but this time I didn't. I felt even worse. Clearly, I was stuck.

Most Artistic Directors would never express themselves publicly with such raw and ugly honesty. I realize it's out of character for a leader, in bad taste and too controversial. Too emotional, say. But when I wear my leadership hat I'm still human and I imagine this kind of confession is probably what most leaders want to say from time to time, but certain contractual obligations keep them from being brutal in their honesty. And I totally understand. Who can afford bad press these days? Let's face it this is a small town, especially when it comes to our theatre community. I thought a blog entry might open up some dialogue, but I wanted to move away from anger and get to a point.

In an effort to dig deeper I began conversing with other theatre makers about the subject of the list. I, of course expressed my dissatisfaction, and was scolded (by someone who'd made it onto the list) that I needed to be more generous. This person was right. That was what was missing from my reaction. I mean, I'm not writing this to take anything away from the companies that did make the list. I certainly respect the theatre makers in this town. The effort to produce a show is mammoth. And every effort should be recognized. Not necessarily praised, but, at the very least acknowledged. So, what was this all about for me?

Before these lists came out I was approached at an opening night party by a list maker who, in earnest, asked me what I thought about their "inability to 'squeeze' N3 onto the list." I swiftly and honestly responded that "if N3 wasn't a part of the list then there was a problem." And by problem I meant a problem in the system. After all our reviews were stellar, the buzz was amazing; the show was fresh, well acted, complete with inspired direction, magnificent design, was totally topical and just plain RAD. Every reviewer/blogger that attended gave us incredible feedback. And it was unlike any other production in town. This of course my not-so-humble opinion…Needless to say, the “list maker” quickly changed the subject, but I could barely pick my chin up off the floor at the idea of this "inability."

I considered writing a follow up e-mail, even composed one, but thought it better of me to leave it alone. I mean, if I have to convince someone that N3 was great I'm wasting my time. Instead I started thinking about why I cared so much about the lists. Why does anyone care about the lists? Then I realized that making it onto a list gives you a sense of importance. But, this sense of importance got me concerned that lists are detriments to creativity. What do lists have to do with art? You don't have to be important to create art.

So I started thinking about the origins of the lists. Who asked for the lists? Who decides the lists? And what qualifies them to weigh in on the lists? What is their relationship to the theatre community? And do these people see every show in Pittsburgh?

I think these are legitimate questions. Don't you?

But, on the other hand, isn't art subjective? I'm not talking about criticism. I think we need criticism. Criticism allows you to see your work through the eyes of another. It gives you perspective. But lists aren't criticism. Lists are comparisons. Lists create hierarchy's. They promote status. They make you better than me. Or me better than you.

In speaking to other theatre makers a few pointed out that lists draw ticket buyers to theatres they may not otherwise attend. We all know word of mouth is one of the most reliable marketing tools. It seems to make sense that since we're all fighting for patrons these lists can be a good thing. Right? On top of that, making it onto a list looks good to your board of directors and the funders who generously provide the monies that help to make theatre happen. Lists matter for survival.

Okay, people want lists. I get it. They're good for the ego and for the box office. But who's allowed to decide the lists for our theatre community?

There's the rub. That is the crux of my concern. Is there a team of theatre experts, peers and attendees collaborating on nominations? Is every production that year being considered? What is the process? Who has the last word?

Recently I received my SAG Awards ballot in the mail. My union was seeking my help in deciding who should top the lists for best TV and film efforts for 2009. Little old me was officially being asked for my two cents. Now, I don't watch a lot of TV so I'm not sure it's fair for me to weigh in, but the opportunity to have a voice made me happy. This got me thinking why don't we have something like this in Pittsburgh? I mean if we're going to have lists can't they be sanctioned?

Other significant theatre towns like Philly and Chicago go about their lists in a more official manner. They actually have awards. Rotating committees of 50 are made up of directors, performers, playwrights, designers, stage managers, educators, musicians, critics, and every other theatre position imaginable, with everyone having a love of theatre in common. These committees unite with an active interest and concern for the preservation and advancement of theatre in their community. Pittsburgh has so many people making theatre that I'm shocked we haven't stepped up to this next level.

We at Bricolage think it's time. Do you? We are very interested in what you think. We're looking to get a dialogue going on how we can, together, help to increase awareness of our rich theatre community and advance the efforts of everyone working so hard to keep theatre alive in this town. It seems only right that the people who make and love theatre in Pittsburgh should have a voice in the lists.

We need you to respond. Give us your feedback. Are we alone in feeling like this? Be honest. Agree or disagree, but let's get it started. We feel it's time to get away from comparisons and get down to talking. Is it possible to have a theatre alliance in Pittsburgh? Can we share resources for the greater good? Are we creating art in a vacuum or do we deserve a place at the national table. We think Pittsburgh is ready to take a seat.

In the meantime we leave you with our top 10 list that we borrowed from playwright Steven Adly Gurguis.

1. Acting, writing, directing, tearing tickets is a privilege, not a right.

2. It should cost you something to do what you do. If it doesn't, do it at home for your cat.

3. It is your right to suck, to fail, to be terrible. But please suck like you give a shit. Please suck in the attempt at something bigger than yourself. Please suck because you care too much, not too little.

4. You owe the audience nothing but your earnest sweat and the absolute fuckin' truth.

5. It's not rocket science. And it's not fire fighting. But it's not less important than either of those two things either.

6. Ego is the enemy of everything holy.

7. As Salinger put it; "Do it for the Fat Lady."

8. And as Rilke said; "Resolve to always be a beginner."

9. The test is not of greatness, but of true-ness.

10. Take courage and take heart. We are all desperately needed. So bring it...

What's your take?